An absurd amount of “coincidences” — that at some point felt like no coincidences at all — pushed me to behave like I never had before. Somehow irrational, somehow emotional. Somehow, some said, like a total weirdo!

But it felt right. So I decided to jump on a plane for less than 24 hours (and from that day on, this happened many more times…) just to go to Amsterdam and attend David’s Alive concert on the 17th of September.

Two reasons pushed me there: 1) I wanted to hear him play Paint It Black and Confutatis live (both very meaningful to me), and 2) I wanted to give someone a sample of the project and get feedback.

Take the plane, land, get to the hotel, shower, get ready, go to the venue.

While I was sitting there — alone in the audience, row 4, central corridor, left side of the stage — I was chatting on WhatsApp with the friends who’d been part of this crazy decision.

“Ok, now you’re there… do something!”
“Yes, but what?!”
“Pity I’m not there, I’d distract the bodyguards by seducing them with my charm, and you’d sneak backstage!”

Planning, strategizing, sending pictures of the stage and the surroundings — possible backstage access, what I could do, what I could say.

“Okay, no, I can’t! Seriously, I can’t! This is absurd! Why am I even here? I’m an idiot!”

The couple sitting behind me was looking at me, asking if I was okay… I must have seemed pretty weird! 😛

But then my friend Teresa said something that stuck.

“You’ll regret it, Simo. If you don’t do something, if you don’t try — you’ll truly regret it.”

Meanwhile, the concert had started. David was commanding the stage, and I spotted Jörg Kollenbroich standing to the right, at the sound console, taking pictures and video as he always does.

And something clicked.

I have no idea what got into me, but in a second I was on my feet. While everyone was focused on David, I moved around the hall and sneaked right below the stage, at Jörg’s feet. A bodyguard was staring at me with a scowl, ready to block me — but a fifty-year-old woman all dressed up probably didn’t strike him as a real threat. (Silly boy! 😛)

I didn’t stop to think. I tapped Jörg’s foot from below, and he looked down, definitely startled.

But he bent toward me, and I didn’t hesitate. “Can I talk to you for a sec?” I said, lifting a finger in that typical Italian gesture that means both pay attention and I’m sorry.

“I’m a little busy right now…” he said, glancing at the stage where David was on fire.

“I know, sorry! It’s just a minute!”

He bent down further, nodding, and offered me his ear to listen to my insanity.

We talked for a few minutes. He offered his help and gave me the right contact to send the proposal to. He was incredibly gracious and kind — especially to me in that moment, utterly embarrassing and crazy. For this, I’ll always be grateful.

After a moment of disbelief at what I’d just done, I thanked him and went back to my seat. I was shaking. Literally. Not just for the chance I’d finally gotten, whatever the outcome might be — but mostly because this is not like me. Being this spontaneous, this unashamed, this straightforward.

But I guess, when you really want something, few things can stop you. 😉

Back in my seat, I sent the email immediately from my phone. I couldn’t sit still — heavy breath, hands trembling. The nice couple from before was looking at me again, but in a kinder way this time.

“I’m fine, I’m sorry. I have a reason for all this. I’m not crazy.”

That’s what I said. But deep down I thought — Well… maybe I am.

A few days later, I got my answer. Not the one I was aiming for — but still an answer.

Tobias wrote back, declining the proposal.

Fair, I thought. At least I could close this chapter and move on once and for all.

Or so I thought… 😉